“Don’t reserve your best behavior for special occasions. You can’t have two sets of manners, two social codes – one for those you admire and want to impress, another for those whom you consider unimportant. You must be the same to all people.”
–Lillian Eichler Watson [image source_type=”attachment_id” source_value=”584″ align=”right” size=”small”]
[image source_type=”attachment_id” source_value=”583″ align=”left” size=”small”] [image source_type=”attachment_id” source_value=”586″ align=”right” size=”small”]
Tea Etiquette History
Many people attribute the origin of afternoon tea to Anna the 7th Duchess of Bedford, early 1800. While on a visit at a friends castle, the Duchess had a moment of weakness in the afternoon. In those days it was common to only have breakfast and dinner during the day, with no lunch. After being served tea and a light snack the Duchess felt better. She enjoyed so much that little tea break in the afternoon that she continued with the ritual, inviting her friends to join her once she returned home. The practice spread and the custom of afternoon tea was born.
Tea Etiquette 101
Tea etiquette is a set of rules and protocol a host and guest must follow in order to be a proper host or guest. Afternoon tea etiquette is not complicated, it is a simple list of some common rules one must follow in order to set up for a proper afternoon tea party. Don’t get scared by the protocol, these tea etiquette rules are there to help you and guide you when planning and preparing your afternoon tea party.
Tea parties are such a lovely way to entertain friends and family. The setting is always beautiful, the atmosphere is serene and the food is scrumptious. Hosting a tea party allows the host to showcase her best tea set, china, napkins and tablecloth. The food is always elegantly presented and the mood is warm and friendly. The Host takes pride in her table setting skills and decoration.
Proper Tea Etiquette Guidelines
- Invite your guests a little in advance (a week to two in advance)
- Set a time for your tea party (it can start as early as one in the afternoon and as late as five o’clock)however, the customary time is four o’clock
- Do not call your party high tea, since that is a very different tea party, it is neither formal nor elegant. High tea is served in a casual setting, on a high dinner table, accompanied by a light dinner serving meat food and usually held around dinner time not afternoon
- Invitations can be made by phone, email, in person or by hand (written invitation)
- As a guest you should respond promptly
- As a guest you should arrive on time with a little something for your host
- As the host you will display your tea pot set on a platter (silver or other type) and will include the tea pot, kettle with boiling water, sugar bowl and creamer, plate with lemon slices, tea bags or loose leaf tea in a box, and a bowl for used teabags
- To the right of the tea set tray you will arrange your teacups, saucers, teaspoons, and napkins
- To the left of the tea set tray you will elegantly display all the goodies you are going to serve
- Traditionally bite sized sandwiches, scones and mini pastries are served at an afternoon tea party
- Your food can be displayed on a three tiered platter, with sandwiches displayed on the bottom, scones in the middle and mini desserts on top. They are placed in the order to be eaten, sandwiches first, scones second and sweets last. It is perfectly proper to use three separate plates to display the food if one does not possess a three tiered platter
- Warm the teapot (insert warm or almost boiling water in teapot for a couple of minutes and then empty the teapot into an empty cup, the teapot will get warm fast)
- When teapot is empty and warm you then insert your tea bags (one per cup of water) or if you prefer loose leaf tea. (a tea spoon per cup of water)
- If teapot is of porcelain or fine china, you can also insert a metal knife or spoon in teapot to avoid cracking when boiling water is poured in, doing this allows heat to transfer onto the metal utensil
- Once tea bag or loose leaf tea is placed in teapot add boiling water to teapot
- If you like your tea strong let tea steep longer. (3 to 6 minutes)
- Tea party napkin should be completely open and placed on your lap
- Serve tea in tea cup and saucer; do not fill cup to the rim (half way to three quarter full)
- Tea can be served by host, guest of honor or someone the host designates
- Fill half a teacup for guests who take it with milk and three quarter cup for guests who take it plain or with sugar
- You never stir the tea in circles or touch sides of tea cup, you should stir the tea from south to north movement, the teaspoon is moving away from you
- Tea cup handle should point to four o’clock
- After use your teaspoon should be placed on saucer behind tea cup spoon handle pointing right
- Milk, sugar or lemon is added after tea is served in tea cup
- (The upper class used to pour the milk last, the fine or bone china tea cups they used were resistant to high heat and did not break in contact with the hot liquid, on the other hand the working class poured milk first then the hot tea since most did not have fine china, and thus to avoid tea cups from breaking due to glass pottery being less resistant to hot liquids)
- Use lemon slices only, do not stir lemon or press on it with teaspoon
- If you need to stir sugar do it noiselessly, it is preferable to use sugar cubes, less messy more delicate
- Do not move tea bag in cup to accelerate steeping time
- Hold teacup by the handle
- Do not leave teaspoon in teacup remove and place on saucer next to tea cup
- Do not dip your cookies in your tea
- When eating scones, you do like with bread, take a piece by hand cut the scone in two with your fingers not a knife, then add a little cream and jam for a bite, you take a bite and start again adding cream and jam for another bite
- Sip tea in silence and keep your saucer close, should not walk around with a teacup in hand without saucer or should not sit back with a teacup and no saucer
- Tea cup and saucer are held close to your body above waist level, you hold the saucer and lift tea cup and bring it up to your mouth
- When seating on a sofa next to a low table it is acceptable to lift the tea cup without the saucer, however, when you are far from the table you are expected to hold saucer and tea cup together
- Do not lift pinkie finger when drinking tea
- When you have finished, do not place your empty teacup and plate back on the table. The host or serving staff will take it
- Keep the tea table clean and elegant
- Do not forget to thank your host
- Send the host a hand written thank you note (it is always appreciated)