Formal Seating Arrangement
A formal dinner party could not function without a formal seating arrangement. The intent is to impart order and also to make sure that distinguished guests are properly assigned seats. The decorum for formal seating is well established. However, more and more private functions have departed from a strict adherence to traditional seating rules. Today in private homes the hosts can choose to arrange the seating based on common interests and likings among guests and less on protocol.
Formal public affairs and elaborate private dinners still follow the time honored seating arrangement rules;
Most formal dinners have a host and hostess. The seating arrangement will start by placing the guest of honor. A female guest of honor will be seated right of host and a male guest of honor will be seated right of hostess
The host and hostess can sit either at the head of the table on opposite sides or in the middle of the table opposite sides
Husband and wife should not sit next to each other
The rule of etiquette is for seating to be arranged in order to alternate between male and female guests
Guests of the same gender do not sit next to each other
The number of guest should always be an even number (in formal affairs)
The goal is to impart order and avoid confusion or surprises when large numbers of guests are attending. Some state dinners have 50 plus guests at their table, so a strict adherence to the seating arrangement rules is a must
Each guest will have a place card assigned to his seat
There is no changing your place cards if you do not like your seat, guests must sit where they are assigned to sit. In less formal events some guests do change their place cards to sit next to people they know or like (i.e. the modern trend to try and seat people according to common similarities rather than rank, status or importance)
Sometimes the number of guest does not permit the host and hostess to sit opposite each other at the head of the table, due to the fact that the rule to alternate between female guests and male guests cannot apply
Dinner parties where the number of guests is a multiple of 4 (like 8, 12, 16, 20, 24, 28, 32 and so on) does not allow the host and hostess to both sit at the head of the table opposite each other, thus the male guest of honor will be seated at the head of the table opposite the host and the hostess will be seated to the left of the guest of honor
The host and hostess can sit at the head of the dinner table on opposing sides when the number of guests are not multiple of 4 (like a party of 6, 10, 14, 18, 22, 26, 30, 34 and so on)
If the dinner party has many distinguished and important guests, the remaining seats will be assigned according to their rank or importance. If the second most important guest is a female she is seated to the left of host and her husband to the left of hostess and if the second in rank is a male guest he is seated to the left of hostess and his wife to the left of host (however, these rules do not apply for most semi formal home or private dinners)
Square or rectangle tables are used for formal dinners
If the dinner does not have a guest of honor, the host will decide where guests will be seated, common sense applies to decide which guests sits to the right of host and hostess, it could be based on age, gender, family relation and so on