“Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better
than is absolutely essential. ”
– Will Cuppy
What is Etiquette
Good Manners and Etiquette are guidelines and rules. They teach the proper way to behave in all social encounters. Etiquette rules and protocol developed over many centuries.
Etiquette is an accepted code of conduct. A guide for suitable and correct behavior in all circumstances. From table setting and dinner etiquette to beach etiquette these time honored rules educate us on the right way to behave.
Etiquette in The Beginning
The word etiquette is French for “label” or “tag”, first used in the English language from around the mid 18th century.
These rules became prevalent in the French and British court. Good etiquette was a way to showcase superiority in conduct, in the art of entertaining, table setting, elaborate dinner service and image. The ruling class was proud to display its knowledge in good manners and etiquette.
Etiquette became associated with aristocracy, bourgeoisie, wealth and status. These etiquette rules were created to impart stability and harmony and avoid conflict as much as possible. From the 16th century to early 20th century manners and etiquette were a vital part of any social circle and taught to children in school.
Louis XIV and Etiquette
During the reign of French King Louis XIV, 17th century France, etiquette made a big leap forward. A sophisticated code of conduct was created to impress the nobility. This era is famous for its grandeur for ceremony and entertainment. These rules of conduct were recognized by everyone that wanted to learn proper manners, make an impression and if they were fortunate to be allowed in the king’s presence.
When the chateau de Versailles was completed the King’s court received up to ten thousand visitors a day. One can understand why some order and decorum were needed. The king’s precious gardens were being trampled with guests walking everywhere. After many complaint by the court’s gardeners the king allowed for signs to be placed all over the gardens, letting people know where they can walk or cross. Later the king’s court developed little instruction cards known as “etiquette” instructing the court guests on how to behave in the king’s presence. These cards were distributed to guests at Versailles and etiquette uniformity was established.
The Victorian Era and Etiquette
In Britain the Victorian Era is known for its etiquette and good manners. The era from early 19th century to early 20th century is a time where good manners and etiquette reached a peak. The emphasis was on a strict moral code and proper behavior.
Miscellaneous Etiquette
Loud Laugh is not Etiquette [note align=”right” width=”177″] Follow these simple etiquette rules[/note]
A man should stand when a woman gets up from her seat
Man walks to the left of a lady or near the sidewalk curb (to protect her from a fall)
A man should offer a lady the first plate from the buffet table
Going up the stairs a man walk/goes up behind a woman (providing protection if she falls)
Going down the stairs a woman walks behind the man/ man goes down first (he provides protection if she falls)
Man enters a restaurant first before a woman, it is the only time a man does not open the door to let a woman enter first (in the days it was for protection, to make sure there was no fighting in the bar/restaurant and that it was safe for a woman to enter, today it is to make sure that there is no unpleasant surprise, like a previous girlfriend/wife in the restaurant and to avoid embarrassing your date)
In British style the host sits at the head of table (in most formal dinners)
In French style host sits in middle or center of table (can also sit at the head of the table)
In French style the youngest guest sits at the extremity or head of table
French greet with a kiss on the chicks , British with a handshake
French serve dinner at a later time than the British
In Europe the practice is for salad to be served last at the end of the meal and in North America salad is served as a first course or appetizer before the main meal (European practice is based on the fact that if a guest eats a salad with vinegar/lemon in the dressing it will affect his taste buds and the guest will not experience the full flavour or good taste of the wine that accompanies his meal, thus, salad is served after the meal)
The oldest or most important man sits on the right of hostess and the second most important man sits left of hostess
Hold your glass by the top of stem under glass bowl
When wine is served you may lift your glass a little
Use napkin delicately to wipe lips after you drink
Take small sips from your wine glass
Do not move head back when drinking
If you would like more wine wait for waiter or host to serve you do not serve yourself
Women should not serve themselves
British style; the knife is used to push food on to fork
French style; bread is used to push food on to fork
It is acceptable to hold your glass and make a toast without tapping glasses with guests (tapping glasses was a custom developed in the middle ages in order to protect from poisoning, when two glasses were tapped and wine overflowed from one glass to the other glass you knew it was not poisonous if both parties drank the wine)
For a cocktail party it is acceptable (even expected) to arrive a little late
It is not etiquette to arrive late to a formal dinner party
Do not take more than one or two pieces of hors d’oeuvres at a time it is not etiquette
Do not walk with a cocktail plate and drink in your hands, you should hold one or the other, you right hand should be free to shake hands and meet and greet people
Do not spit on the street, it is not etiquette and also very rude