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“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others, if you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”
Emily Post
Good Manners and Etiquette For The Dinner Table
Dinner manners and etiquette are rules, customs and protocol we all need to learn from a young age. These dinner manners and etiquette define who we are, and enable us to make a good impression on people. Lack of dinner manners and etiquette can harm us in our social and professional life. People who practice good dinner manners and etiquette are noticed and appreciated by everyone. The host practices good table setting etiquette to prepare for the dinner party and guests follow proper guests etiquette. People with manners and etiquette are usually kind considerate people, pleasant people that everyone enjoy to be with. If you conduct yourself with good manners and etiquette you will be the person people want to invite and enjoy to be with.
Dinner manners and etiquette guidelines one should follow;
Wait for host to sit before sitting
Women must take off their gloves, it is bad etiquette to eat with gloves on
If there is no host or guest of honor sit when everyone else is sitting, man should help woman companion to their seat
When you sit at the table remember to put your purse on the back of your chair, on your lap or on the floor next to your seat but never on the table
Once seated pick your napkin, unfold it and place it on your lap, if there is a host wait for host to pick up her napkin before you pick up your napkin
If someone took your napkin by accident or un-knowingly do not embarrass them and do not say anything to them, discreetly ask the waiter to bring you another napkin
Throw chewing gum before coming to dinner table
No personal items on table (phone, keys, wallet, papers, medication, tablet, glasses ,book etc…)
If your fork, knife, spoon falls on the floor do not pick up or ask someone else to pick up for you, just ask the waiter politely to bring you a new fork, knife, or spoon, no need to disturb the dinner party
Wait for host to take first bite or for host to signal when to start eating (before you start eating) or for everyone to be served before eating
When more than 6 to 8 people are at the dinner table and hot food is served wait for host to say “go ahead and eat” or “please start don’t wait food will get cold” or ” please start eating”, if there is no host just look around and ask your dinner companion or guest to your left or right “shall we start?” Do not be the only one eating
Always bring food to your mouth don’t lower head towards plate
Guest of honor get served first, if there is no guest of honor women get served before men or oldest person before younger or guest before family member and adults before children
Once the first person is served they pass the food platter to the person on the right (food is passed to the right)
When you need something that is on the table, never reach for it, ask the person closest to the item to pass it to you, never ask in a general manner this way you do not disturb the whole dinner party, ask a specific person by name, for example never say ” may I have the salt please”, but rather say “John may I have the salt please”
If someone is using your water or wine glass do not say “excuse me you are using my wine glass” this will only embarrass the person (a big no no of etiquette and good manners), simply ask your waiter for a new wine glass
Host/hostess serves themselves last or get served last, when all guests have been served
Let host direct the dinner conversation, never talk about controversial topics (politics, religion, sex)
Use utensils provided on the serving plate to serve yourself, never your own personal utensils
Serve yourself modestly taking into account the rest of the guests
When serving yourself take the food closest to you on the serving plate don’t search for bigger or better pieces making a mess on the serving plate, always keep food on the serving platter presentable
If you are offered a second serving, place your utensils together parallel on the right side of your dinner plate in order to make room for the food
If soup is served as first course it is served from the left like all foods
Keep elbows off the table, close to your body when eating
Legs should be next to chair not stretched under the table and no crossing legs under the table
Never blow on food or soup wait for the food to cool and then eat
In formal dinner it is not acceptable to dip bread in sauce or soup
Always chew with your mouth closed
Don’t talk before you finish what is in your mouth
Don’t eat too fast
Eat at same pace as everyone/host
Don’t talk with food in mouth
Electronic devices should be turned off or on vibrate or silent – no talking, texting, surfing during dinner whether at a home dinner, event or at a restaurant
Once you pick up your utensils to start eating they do not go back on the table only on the plate, the idea is to keep the table and tablecloth clean
Food is served from the left, i.e. forks are on the left
Drinks are served from the right, i.e. glasses are placed top right
Dishes are removed from the right
In a formal dinner before the main dinner is served and usually after fish or seafood appetizer you might be served a scoop of fruit sorbet to cleanse the mouth / it is served on a footed bowl with an under plate and a small spoon
In a formal dinner you might be served a cheese platter or fruit platter after dinner and before dessert
In a formal dinner after the main dinner has been served and before dessert you may find a small bowl filled with lemon scented water it is a fingers bowl not for drinking but for washing the tip of your fingers if the wait staff brigs the fingers bowl dip your fingers in the water and dry them with your napkin
If your dessert plate, spoon and fork are brought out with the fingers bowl place the fork and spoon on each side of the dessert plate on the tablecloth and the fingers bowl left of your dessert plate
If the finger bowl is placed on a doily on top of your dessert plate lift with both hands the doily and bowl and place on upper left of dessert plate
If your drinking glass has a stem, hold it by the stem, and look down when drinking
If someone drinks from your glass ask your waiter discreetly for another glass
No grooming, lipstick or makeup applied at the table (excuse yourself and go to the washroom)
If you need to remove something from mouth it should be done the same way it entered your mouth by fork or finger and placed discreetly on plate
Do not leave before dinner is finished, or while someone is talking, or before coffee or tea and dessert are served
The etiquette is to wait for the end of dinner before leaving, the host will put her napkin on the table and get up to signal the end of dinner
If a guest must leave before the end of dinner, he excuses himself discreetly and places napkin on table unfolded and gets up to leave no need to give any explanation or disturb the dinner guests
At the end of dinner male companion should help their woman dinner date out of her seat, he stands behind her chair gently pulls the chair and allows her to get up from the right side
When dinner is over don’t forget to thank the wait staff
Don’t forget to thank the host